Truths - True

A friend sent the following list to me and I thought it was one of those I had to share. #7 resonates with me quite a bid as I am a MapQuest-a-holic. Also #12.

Simple truths for mature adults -


1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. Really, how ARE you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Crap!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail.
What
did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

15. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

16. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

17. I disagree with Kay Jewelers, I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

18. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

19. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. (just kidding Oprah)

20. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

21. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

22. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

23. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

24. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

25. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

26. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'll bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

What else I did not buy this week...

The one that got away.

Arghhh. Last night after work I was killing some time before I had to meet my husband. Of course my favorite way to kill time is to hit a nearby thrift store. There is an unwritten rule of thrifters that if your hand is on an item it is yours until you let go. Last night I let go.

I'm so mad at myself. I love to buy original art. There was a pretty fantastic painting of cactus available. I was pondering the purchase and decided to think on it. I'm not sure why I was even hesitating. The price was so right. The place was not busy and no one appeared to be looking at the art along the wall. The SECOND I backed away from the painting some guy ran up behind me an took the painting.

It's like a fish story about the one that got away.

Thrift rule #1... hold on to it until you are sure you do not want it.

What I did NOT buy this week.

Those who know me, know that I LOVE to second hand shop. I love to hunt for odd items at bargain prices. I have found some wonderful items over the years, many of the items totally useful. (Many not).

Some "most useful" items I have found include the GIANT champagne bottle that currently resides in my home office. An awesome metal candelabra that resides in my dining room. I've purchased some great artwork at bargain prices. A beautiful old steam trunk. A killer travertine dining room table that we currently use in our semi-formal dining room.

I've also bought a few stinkers that seemed like a good idea at the time. A rusty old childs bicycle that I thought might be worth something to someone else. An unidentifiable weapon of mass destruction that I found at a garage sale and thankfully re-sold at the flea market. I am still not sure what that was. At one time I did a lot of re-selling and would buy almost anything if I thought I could turn a buck.

I have no qualms about buying pre-owned. I look at it as the ultimate in recycling and I love re-purposed items.

My sister in Maine is also a second hand shopper and sometimes in our travels I will e-mail photos of some crazy or just fugly items I have discovered but would probably never buy. The uglier the better.

I buy a lot of funky thrift items but this post is about the ones that got away this week.

Creepy Butler

The first is the creepy butler. He was creeping at a re-sale shop in Scottsdale. A bargain at a mere $695. More than my recession-ass budget can handle at present. If he was $50 I may have considered it. I'd be all over having him hold a roll of toilet paper in my bathroom. Pardon me but to you have any grey poop-on?

Praying Hands Poster

Next item I passed on. A hairy armed poster of praying hands at Oral Roberts University. I lived in Tulsa once and would drive by the giant hands a few times a week. I've got to tell you this was hard to pass up except that the hairy arms sort of gave me the creeps. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those new-americans that hate body hair but for some reason these hairy arms gave me the heebies.

50 Cent's T-shirt

The next item I did not buy was this lucky 7, g-money, hip hop t-shirt. Ick. I didn't buy this because then I would need to buy a gold grill for my teef to go with and I can't afford that either.

Le Glorious Green Orb

And then there was this. Oh glorious giant green southwestern gourd lamp. I must admit that I actually put this in my cart and gave it a ride around the thrift store while I admired it. There were small holes poked throughout and it actually lit up. A bargain at $24. I just could not justify this purchase. It was so weird that I almost fell in love with it. This is one of those items I had to weigh whether or not it would destroy my marriage if I brought it home.

I also did not purchase this Punks Not Dead, Ed Hardy hoodie. I'm so over Ed Hardy but I'm still a punk at heart. I know that if I wore this shirt that any punks still alive might go preppy after seeing me at 50 wearing this baby. I did not buy partly because it should say Punk IS NOT Dead and that error would make me crazy. Also, Punk was way after the era of the real Ed Hardy. I'm sure he would not approve.

What did I buy you ask? Well that is another post. You'll just have to wait for that one.

Tell me, what is your weirdest thrift purchase? I'd love to know.