My Idol

If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right. Adam Lambert Rocks!

Eek a Mouse

I left an apple on the shelf over my desk at work. I don't now how he got up there but our office mouse decided that my apple was delicious. All but the peels.

I work in a very nice, clean office. I'd love to have a motion operated camera to catch him in the act. Needless to say, no food can be left out in our office even if it is wrapped. He also has broken into a gift bag we had with cookies and candy in it. He ate all of the milk chocolate and cookies. He bit right through the packaging. He left the dark chocolate alone. He's finicky this one.

Don't F with my Frisbee

Good Moms Rock

Today I was shopping for Mothers Day cards. I have a good Mom. She was a divorced Mom with six children. She didn't have much but would give her last penny for her children. She did without so that we would have something. She wasn't perfect but she had the best intentions. I do not understand women who have children but aren't maternal.

I also have a Step Mom, a Mother-in-law and Sister-in-laws who are all Mom's to my wonderful nieces and nephews. I'm thankful for each of them.

I have no children but most years my sister Gitsy sends me a cute Mothers Day card from my cat Gary.

I prefer funny Mothers Day Cards. I love photos with a Mom holding a giant margarita - because they earned it. I love cards with Mom's living it up because their children are finally out of the house. I see a lot of sappy "World's Greatest Mom" cards. Those cards are not for me. I think it's because my Mom is funny and not sappy. She loves a good laugh.

What do you do when those type of cards to do not apply? What do you do when you have a "bad" Mom or an absent Mom? I have friends who dread holidays like Mothers Day because their parents were abusive or uncaring. Shopping for a card is agony. Thankfully you can find a few cards that just have the generic sentiment - Happy Mothers Day.

I am truly thankful that my Mom was my Mom. She loves me for me. I know that I was lucky.

On Fabulous Bags and Nudists

My cousin Phyl was in town this weekend. We went shopping at Ross because I needed some new shorts. I needed them because I could not fit my big butt into last years shorts. Sheesh. I hate when that happens.

So once we get int he store we go into a shopping trance. We separate. I touch every item in home wares. I try on fifty pairs of shorts. This is tough since the fitting room only allows eight items at at time.

So I finally get to the purse department and am admiring all of the purses. I don't need a purse. But I am totally lusting after a few. I spy this cool zebra-ish blingy Betsey Johnson Betsey-ville bag. Huge. Totally cool. I'm fondling it lovingly and thinking how beautiful I would be if I only had this purse. Then I notice this woman carrying about six of these bags and she is obviously buying every Bestsey-ville purse she can get her hands on.

So now my greediness kicks in. I'm thinking she must know something about these purses that I don't know. Yes they have a $100 original price and are now selling for $60 at Ross. Yes they are totally cool. Then I'm thinking she must be re-selling them. Crap, I need money, maybe I should be re-selling them. I should buy a bunch of these bags and sell them on e-bay or something. I grab the one purse and throw it in my cart. She is eyeing it madly. I sneak to a private corner and use my blackberry to check e-bay prices on these bags. It was a huge pain int he ass and I really couldn't see the bags well on my phone screen. Not only is my ass to big for my shorts but I'm half deaf and now I am going blind. Crap!

So I call my sister in Maine who is the e-bay expert. "B. what do you think of these bags. Why is this chick buying them all. Should I be getting in on the actions?!" After much discussion about hand bags and what sells we decided that it would not be worth the purchase price and auction fees for me to sell these bags.

For some strange reason I did not want this woman to have my bag. I mosied to the back of the store and stashed it by the cat beds. Ha! I showed her. Yes, I showed some stranger that I am the boss of a purse that I did not buy.

So I found some shorts.

My cousin and I made a few more stops and then went to my house. As we walked through the family room I notice this sign on the back sliding glass door.

Surprise. My husband has become a nudist. I don't mind. He looks pretty good tan and nude. The moral of this storyis that I am a greedy purse lusting wife of a nudist.

Inspired... Oh damn I forgot what I was going to blog about

I enjoy blogging. I wish I had more to say. Sometimes I get a thought about something and think, hey, I will blog about that. I have a poor memory and unless I write it down I forget what I thought was so interesting earlier in the day.

The I.T. Nazi's at work block every site that's not work related. Sheesh. I guess they know me too well because I would certainly blog at work given the chance. Ok, just on my lunch hour. I suppose I could do it on my blackberry but that would take my whole lunch hour and I'm not giving that up. I'm so glad that they cannot also monitor and block my brain. Oh, they would if they could.

I also think sometimes I need an alter-ego blog. I hold back on my cussing ways in this blog because I do know that some of my co-workers and possibly some of my relatives read it. Yes, they know I curse but I would love to let loose with some F bombs once in a while true emotional expression. The problem is that my whole blog would be one big line of F*ck F*ck F*ck this and that. I'd be like tourettes on a monitor. I also like Sh*t. Another family fave. I guess I just need to be satisfied with Ass.

Anyways here's hoping for some F*cking Ass blog inspiration coming my way soon. And oh yeah, F*uck those people who make up fake holidays like Sweetest Day. Also, F those stupide Irish Dancing Wigs that they make the young Irish Dancers wear now-a-days. They look ridiculous (That's a whole 'nother blog - note to self)

Let me know what you'd like to say F*ck to....

Happy Crazy Cat Lady Day!

I've decided that I am tired of all of the fake holidays such as sweetest day, boss's day, groundhog day....

I am creating one that I will personally enjoy. I declare today April 24th Crazy Cat Lady Day!

Happy Crazy Cat Lady Day to all of my cat lady friends and their furry babies.