To thong or not to thong, that is the question.
To pant-suit or not to pant-suit, that is a whole 'nother question.
Lately I've had some discussions around the water cooler at my uber-sexy job in the city about proper work attire. Personally I think what you wear should be a personal choice however I do agree that for certain industries some clothing options are just not a good choice.
With the current style of low-rise everything we definitely see more flashes of thongs and skin in the workplace than ever before. Bending over without showing my granny panties has never been a problem for me - because I AM COVERED UP! I don't particularly want to show skin let alone my unmentionables.
Note to self - if your thong shows THIS much your pants are too low-rise.
In the immortal words of Fergie "My hump my hump my hump my hump my lovely lady lumps" - lady - oh so lady-likeUs 40 somethings tend to cover up more. I'd say this is because we are more self conscious about our aging bodies. I know that I personally do not like to wear sleeveless shirts. Mini-skirts are out for me at this juncture.
Yes, I wore dresses this short - but not to church.Recently I blogged about a now defunct department store in my home town. I found this guideline for womens attire from 1969. (comments are my own)
Rikes Department Store Clothing Guideline 1968
MEMO TO: ALL WOMEN EMPLOYEES (or as we say in 2008, all my bitches and hos)
Attached is an up-dated version of the guidelines for proper business dress. The new guidelines allow you a much wider selection in choosing your clothing for store wear. All we ask is that you choose a style suitable for your particular job…..and in good taste. (This remains true today)
If you have any doubts about a dress or costume (costume - for the day you are required to wear a chicken suit and hand out nugget samples?) you have selected, please check with your Department manager, Floor Superintendant, or the Fashion OfficeTraining Department. (they train you to be fashionable?)
MEMO TO: ALL WOMEN EMPLOYEES (or as we say in 2008, all my bitches and hos)
Attached is an up-dated version of the guidelines for proper business dress. The new guidelines allow you a much wider selection in choosing your clothing for store wear. All we ask is that you choose a style suitable for your particular job…..and in good taste. (This remains true today)
If you have any doubts about a dress or costume (costume - for the day you are required to wear a chicken suit and hand out nugget samples?) you have selected, please check with your Department manager, Floor Superintendant, or the Fashion OfficeTraining Department. (they train you to be fashionable?)
Having an expert dress you is so cool. It's the undressing you have to worry about.
Dressing for Business
Whether you are assigned to selling or sales-supporting work, it is essential that you present a business-like, well-groomed appearance. Rike’s does not expect you, as a new employee, to buy a new wardrobe immediately (not immediately but eventually you are expected to spend your whole paycheck here) just to work here, but we do expect you to keep the following guidelines in mind when making future purchases.
Special prices on clothing are offered to employees from time to time. (We are happy to offer you the crap we can't sell at a major discount ) Watch our in-store newspaper, the Arkay News-O-Gram (Our brain-washing guide - buy some stuff, buy some stuff ) , distributed daily in the employees Cafeteria (Because we can't let those haggy cafeteria bitches on the floor where customers might see their unfashionable asses ). And for fashion ideas, check the Fashion Office’s display also in the Employee’s Cafeteria. “Be Business-Like and Fashion-Right.” (Separate publication for the cafeteria ladies - all about hair-nets)
Whether you are assigned to selling or sales-supporting work, it is essential that you present a business-like, well-groomed appearance. Rike’s does not expect you, as a new employee, to buy a new wardrobe immediately (not immediately but eventually you are expected to spend your whole paycheck here) just to work here, but we do expect you to keep the following guidelines in mind when making future purchases.
Special prices on clothing are offered to employees from time to time. (We are happy to offer you the crap we can't sell at a major discount ) Watch our in-store newspaper, the Arkay News-O-Gram (Our brain-washing guide - buy some stuff, buy some stuff ) , distributed daily in the employees Cafeteria (Because we can't let those haggy cafeteria bitches on the floor where customers might see their unfashionable asses ). And for fashion ideas, check the Fashion Office’s display also in the Employee’s Cafeteria. “Be Business-Like and Fashion-Right.” (Separate publication for the cafeteria ladies - all about hair-nets)
Guidelines for Women
First impressions are important. To be an alert, successful business woman, you must look the part. (Play a role, don't be yourself, feel free to pretend)
COLORS (Crip or Blood, your choice)
Solid colors that are basic or subdued are best for the “business look”--black, grey, navy, dark green, brown or beige. (dull is the new black) You will find these colors “wardrobe stretchers” as well. Simply by changing accessories -- scarves, jewelry, etc., you can make the basic dress into a new look.
FASHION COLORS
Fashion colors and designer styles may be worn if you are selling in a fashion department (and if you have a husband who's income can help you to afford the clothes that we sell in this store because our wages ain't shit) : for example, The Moraine Shops, Boutiques, Junior Shops, etc., but the guidelines for good taste still apply.
First impressions are important. To be an alert, successful business woman, you must look the part. (Play a role, don't be yourself, feel free to pretend)
COLORS (Crip or Blood, your choice)
Solid colors that are basic or subdued are best for the “business look”--black, grey, navy, dark green, brown or beige. (dull is the new black) You will find these colors “wardrobe stretchers” as well. Simply by changing accessories -- scarves, jewelry, etc., you can make the basic dress into a new look.
FASHION COLORS
Fashion colors and designer styles may be worn if you are selling in a fashion department (and if you have a husband who's income can help you to afford the clothes that we sell in this store because our wages ain't shit) : for example, The Moraine Shops, Boutiques, Junior Shops, etc., but the guidelines for good taste still apply.
Ahhhh, the good old days when work attire was work attire, but no voting allowed.
FABRICS (holy-crap - not only colors but now they are instructing what fabrics to wear too)
Fabrics may be chosen according to your own taste. (we can think for ourselves now? I'm so confused) The weight of the fabric should be heavy enough not to show an undergarment. Knit dresses and suits are acceptable, but use good judgment in selecting the proper size and always wear a skirt liner with knits.
The ever fashionable and sexy 80's work uniform. I'm waiting for a comeback. We really rocked the glass ceiling with this look.
NECKLINES
Necklines should never be too wide or too deep for modesty when reaching or bending. (Solution: Never reach or bend)
Necklines should never be too wide or too deep for modesty when reaching or bending. (Solution: Never reach or bend)
WW J-lo DSLEEVES
As a rule of thumb, sleeveless dresses should not be worn by mature women. (HEY, They stole my rule)
If you have any doubts about the suitability of the clothing you have selected for business wear, check with your Department Manager, Floor Superintendent, for the Fashion Office. (because those bitches know everything and can help mindless losers who can't think for themselves)
DON’T’S
DON’T chew gum on the selling floor at any time. If you feel you need to freshen your breath, use a spray mouth freshener or a mint, not chewing gum. (just leave your nasty breath at home)
Don’t put a pencil behind your ear. (up your bum is fine though)
Don’t wear too much jewelry. It should complement the costume.
Don’t apply make-up or comb your hair in the presence of a customer.
(Note for my friend JJ who currently works at Dillards, don't ever, EVER bring a cup of Starbucks into the building even if you are just walking through the store - we'll see you in detention bitch.)
Buttons (All bases covered here)
Political, fraternal and organizational buttons of all kinds may not be worn if their size is larger than a U.S. 5 cent piece. (5 cents, damn I wish I was alive in '68, political buttons now are HUGE.)
The smart woman is always accessorized properly from head to toe. (All thong-ish and whatnot) Be sure your gloves are clean(Gloves!? WTF?- oh yeah it's 1968), hose are neat (as apposed to saggy and hanging down to your knees, thank God for Spanks 2008 ), shoes are polished (right) . For over a century, RIKE’S customers have associated the fashion reputation of our store with good grooming, good manners, and the fashion sense of the employees. All of us have an obligation to maintain Rike’s reputation for good taste by our neat, business-like appearance. (P.S. you men can dress anyway you damn well please and feel free to judge our attire whenever you see fit. Also feel free to imagine us naked.)
Political, fraternal and organizational buttons of all kinds may not be worn if their size is larger than a U.S. 5 cent piece. (5 cents, damn I wish I was alive in '68, political buttons now are HUGE.)
The smart woman is always accessorized properly from head to toe. (All thong-ish and whatnot) Be sure your gloves are clean(Gloves!? WTF?- oh yeah it's 1968), hose are neat (as apposed to saggy and hanging down to your knees, thank God for Spanks 2008 ), shoes are polished (right) . For over a century, RIKE’S customers have associated the fashion reputation of our store with good grooming, good manners, and the fashion sense of the employees. All of us have an obligation to maintain Rike’s reputation for good taste by our neat, business-like appearance. (P.S. you men can dress anyway you damn well please and feel free to judge our attire whenever you see fit. Also feel free to imagine us naked.)
(Photo of that recurring dream I have about going to work in a bra and slip - oops, where are my clothes? Oh well, since I'm here already I guess I will keep working)
When I rule the world this will be the uniform of men in the workplace. Expecially insurance salesmen, MANDATORY!
Rules, Rules, Rules.... Here is my solution - a uniform. Problem solved.
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